Random musings: How to be your own best friend

This one’s not about science, planarians, autism, books or any of my usual topics. I just caught myself thinking a couple of things today…

But first, the disclaimers:

**I am not a medical doctor, a psychologist or anything in those lines. I am not qualified to give any type of professional advice in these areas. My thoughts are simply my thoughts, and as I said in my “About” page:

“The opinions expressed in this blog are mine alone. They do not represent the views of my employer, my wife, my children, my parents & siblings, my pastor or Chuck Darwin…”



I am not claiming that any of the things I thought about today are particularly new or original. They have almost certainly been said in one way or another in many places. Still, they are fun to think about, maybe even useful and therefore I decided to share them.

It is a good idea to become your best friend. You’d think that this must be an implicit part of our lives, but until today, I never thought about it.

Here are some things that can help us achieve that. To be completely honest, I struggle with many of them; even though I know in my mind that these are good things, it is difficult to make them happen. So, let me use this post to try to hold myself accountable if for nothing else, my personal growth.

**Try to take care of your physical being.

I know, generic advice that very few of us really follow. But recent events in my life have really made an impression upon me. I am making it happen too. I am 12 pounds lighter and two pant sizes smaller. I intend to keep doing it.

**Try to take care of your mental health too.

… By trying to do the things below, among many other things, including seeking professional help when necessary.

**Forgive others.

I am not very good at that, and I am not proud of it. You see, I hold grudges. It is very easy for me to forgive an honest mistake; bad intentions and / or malice, not so much. I think that I am fortunate because over time, I can honestly say that there is only two people who I have been unable to forgive (I have been trying for about 9 years in one case and for about 5 years in the other). And no, I am not telling the stories today.

**Forgive yourself.

I am even worse at that! It is very, oh so very difficult for me to forgive even my honest mistakes, but I can honestly say that I have never been malicious against anyone, as far as I can tell, so there…

**Read for pleasure

I have been struggling with this for some time know, but I am working on that. I have no problem when reading for work, like for my lectures or my academic scholarship, but I really miss the sheer pleasure of reading for its own sake; it feels like a good walk and it is just as liberating…

**Use your mind

This is closely related to the point above. I am always thinking and I cannot imagine a life where I would not do it. If you think about it (sorry, there’s no other way of expressing it) you will surely realize how truly remarkable is to be able to think and how truly, frighteningly fragile a mind is. As a scientist, I am sure that thought is controlled by the hard-to-imagine number of connections in our brain, but to know this does not make it even a little bit less majestic, precious and mysterious.

**Learn to relax

I am now very vividly picturing the face that my wife will make as soon as she reads these words, the face that does not need words to make its meaning clear as day: “Really? YOU are saying this?”

**Truly love someone

I am grateful to God and life because I have no problems in this area. I was raised in a loving family and my late father taught me by example how to be a father; he was a great one. I hope I am honoring his memory by trying to be a good dad myself. Now I have a loving family of my own. I’d gladly give my life for my wife and my three kids. Nothing left to say.

**Keep good secrets.

This thought is what prompted me to write this today. Be your best confidant. Keep good secrets, good things that you, and only you (and maybe your God) will ever know. Things like sending some money anonymously to someone in need. Helping someone without anyone ever knowing (random acts of kindness do count), having a good conversation with yourself if it helps you realize what’s good for you -yes, talking to yourself can be healthy-. Yelling at yourself while alone (and preferably with no one within earshot) to set yourself straight when you are doing something wrong. Keep these things to yourself, treasure them, they will help you grow as a person and will even help improve your relationship with others…

(:-)… ‘Till next time…


The first tulip in our yard this Spring…

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  1. You are an amazing writer! Very good words of advice and yes, I have tried and accomplished some of those things on your “To Do List”. You are absolutely correct, they work! Best of luck in all your writing and may God continue to bless you and your beautiful family! Remember that you, as a part of my UCC family, will always have a special place in my heart. I yet to meet such special people.


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