An Epiphany

I think I have had my very first epiphany.

It seems that I finally found a silver lining in my spiritual/mental/psychological struggles since my apparent heart-scare last year. Moreover, I am not the least ashamed to say that it happened right after finishing reading a book on prayer, just a few minutes ago, at about 1:50am. The thought came to my mind practically as soon as I read the last words of the book.

It goes like this:

I know how is it to be scared of death, leaving my family alone. Yet I am alive, and all tests indicate that my heart is fine. Nonetheless, I have an idea of how it feels like to be really sick, and of being afraid because of that.

Therefore, most likely, I will not be suddenly blindsided when “real” health problems come, as it will be a familiar feeling (and or course, I hope that it happens many years from now).

I know I have suffered, and still am, but at the same time I am grateful because I have learned to appreciate the sensation of feeling healthy and strong, and I have faith that I will get back there sooner rather than later.

Am I making sense?

I also need to be true to myself and to you; otherwise, I’d be a hypocrite and this will be just a fictional tale. The very first thing that came to mind when I articulated this thought was:

Thank you Jesus! Thank you God!

I think that there are a couple of lessons for me here.

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4 Comments

  1. I’ve been in a similar place where my fear of an uncertain future has stolen my appreciation of the fact that things keep somehow working out. Just recently I’ve been able to allow the fact that things keep working themselves out be more important to me than the ongoing uncertainty. Perhaps it’s this week’s kingdom lesson. 😉
    Glad to hear you are finding some peace!

  2. Three things,

    You are exactly where you are supposed to be right at this moment,

    God loves you,

    And it is whose you are not what you do.

    Enjoy being.

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