I think I have had my very first epiphany.
It seems that I finally found a silver lining in my spiritual/mental/psychological struggles since my apparent heart-scare last year. Moreover, I am not the least ashamed to say that it happened right after finishing reading a book on prayer, just a few minutes ago, at about 1:50am. The thought came to my mind practically as soon as I read the last words of the book.
It goes like this:
I know how is it to be scared of death, leaving my family alone. Yet I am alive, and all tests indicate that my heart is fine. Nonetheless, I have an idea of how it feels like to be really sick, and of being afraid because of that.
Therefore, most likely, I will not be suddenly blindsided when “real” health problems come, as it will be a familiar feeling (and or course, I hope that it happens many years from now).
I know I have suffered, and still am, but at the same time I am grateful because I have learned to appreciate the sensation of feeling healthy and strong, and I have faith that I will get back there sooner rather than later.
Am I making sense?
I also need to be true to myself and to you; otherwise, I’d be a hypocrite and this will be just a fictional tale. The very first thing that came to mind when I articulated this thought was:
Thank you Jesus! Thank you God!
I think that there are a couple of lessons for me here.
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